Energy gain/drain: a few words on introversion

I'm not sure if I've written much about introversion on this blog, which is surprising because it's a topic I think about quite a bit.  I won't write at length right now, but I will share a neat item my friend shared with me: Dr. Carmella's Guide to Understanding the Introverted.

I generally agree with the way she's mapped things out here.  I don't necessarily think of myself as living in a hamster ball, but I get the principle of it.

 

However, there's a concept that I never really thought of here -- extroverts sapping the energy of introverts.  Or really anyone sapping the energy of introverts.  Actually, it's not even that, it's the idea of introverts giving their energy to others.

 

I've often thought about the fact that as an introvert I gain energy from downtime and that social situations drain energy from me.  But I never thought about the fact that I give energy to people.  It makes sense though!

 

And then I can't help but think about how much the giving/draining of energy varies from person to person.  My girlfriend K, for example.  We live together and I rarely think of her as someone who drains my energy.  I certainly give my energy to her, and am happy to, but there's a number of factors that keep me from feeling drained.  (1) We live together and I gain so much of my energy from being in my home surroundings, so there's a comfort there.  (2) Now that we live together and spend so much time together, I've begun to think of our time together as "alone time", despite not being fully alone.  Alone time gives me energy for sure, so I'm able to still gain energy while with K.  (3) She gives me so much energy back, so there's an exchange that keeps me from feeling drained.

 

K is definitely a special person when it comes to the energy gain/drain, but I feel that way about my other closest friends, too.  They give me so much back so I never feel as drained after spending time with them (especially if it's at my place) as I would, say at a random acquaintance's house party.  All those new people and the unfamiliar turf; it makes for an energy drain.  It doesn't mean I can't do it, nor does it mean I can't perform well, but it's definitely a drain.

 

Anyway, gotta love some morning food for thought...

Do you beliebe?

I'm going to be frank with y'all: I'm a belieber... or at least, I have been.  Now?  I don't know what to beliebe.

We all knew about Justin Bieber when he came onto the scene.  An overnight sensation like no one before him, you couldn't help but know his name and at least be able to hum one of his songs.  Whether you liked him or not, you'd heard of him.

Brilliantly managed and marketed, he experienced a frighteningly fast climb to success.  In the face of it all, he seemed to manage it well himself.  You might not want to call him an artist, but he sure could perform.  Beyond that, he has a certain charm, too... charisma, even, and not just in the "tween" sense.  Have you ever seen him on "Chelsea Lately"?  Check out the video below.  He's not very articulate, per se, but he holds his own, and is funny (and even, dare I say it, smart!) in his own way.



So what did I think of him when he was first thrust upon us?  Not much, really... I was indifferent... I mean, although there is something unique about his rise to success (YouTube discovery, overnight sensation, etc.), it's just the same old story in a new context, isn't it?  I wasn't a hater, I wasn't a fan, I was just aware... and maybe curious... and maybe a teeny bit proud that for once an enormous star was Canadian?  Or maybe more angry at the fact that Justin was calling himself the first interesting thing to come out of Stratford.

I became a belieber though when I watched "Never Say Never", the documentary film movie about Justin's rise to fame and his "Never Say Never" tour in which he first performs in the legendary Madison Square Garden.  There's something almost hypnotizing about that movie.  I can't even remember what it was that made me watch it in the first place.  Again, I wasn't a huge fan, and none of my friends had seen it.  Regardless, I watched it one night and was totally mesmerized.  There is something so captivating about him and his story, and in the movie he is portrayed as very serious, sincere, caring, and hard-working.  He definitely is talented, too, but he's also so... earnest.  Yes, that is the word!  He seems to be so earnest, and there is something so endearing about him.

That brings me to now.

I'm not sure if you keep up with the Justin Bieber news, but he's been acting a fool lately.  There's been issues with his friend caught speeding in his car, photos surfacing of him smoking marijuana, getting kicked out of a London bar on his birthday, passing out on stage at his own concert, starting a concert two hours late, walking around shirtless, swearing at paparazzi..... Bieber is not 13 anymore.

So he's 19, and the old smile for the camera paired with a flick of the hair doesn't really work for him now.  That's fine.  Performers have to evolve with their age and with time.  Look at Justin Timberlake (I certainly enjoy looking at him); he started as a curly-haired, frosted-tipped boy bander, and now he's all dapper in a suit and tie singing us brilliant R&B.

But this isn't about a performer evolving, it's about an individual experiencing some growing pains, and the thing that I struggle with is: can we just chalk this up to a 19 year-old acting his age?  Does he have to be held to different standards because he's a massive celebrity?  Does any of it matter?  19 year-olds all over the world are doing this and much worse (minus what the money and fame afford him), but his discretions are displayed for all the world to see.  What does it all mean?

The funny thing is, I don't really care about his music.  Some of it is pretty catchy, but just because I call myself a belieber, you won't be finding me buying his albums and certainly not attending his concerts.  What I liked about him, as I said, was his earnestness... his charisma and hard-working nature.  I'm just not seeing that anymore.

However, as a belieber, I will hold out some hope.  I'd like to see Justin Bieber elevate to the levels of Justin Timberlake one day... maybe it'll never happen, but...

NEVER SAY NEVER.