Right now I am sitting on a chair on my patio outside in a t-shirt, breathing in beautiful fresh air, and catching up on things on my relatively new MacBook. I just finished a cup of coffee and have spent the day up until now doing a variety of enjoyable and productive tasks. I did six (!) loads of laundry including all of our sheets and towels. I made a roasted red pepper and sweet potato soup, which K. and I enjoyed for lunch, and there are still two portions saved for a lunch this week. Roasting the vegetables made the whole apartment smell like fall and it was just so lovely, never mind delicious. To quote one of my favourite people - not that she was the first to say this: "My cup floweth over".
But I'm not writing today to once again share the details of how I'm spending a delightful weekend day (though I've kind of already done that). I'm writing to share a concept that I'm predicting is going to be pretty life-changing for me.
I am enough.
What a concept! I am hard-wired to aim for more. My parents instilled it in me, and this drive is what has given me the success I've already been fortunate enough to experience so far in my life. This is an innate part of me that I can't do anything about, and I'm glad for that. But sometimes it's not a motivating drive, but more of a discouraging one. I'll be sitting and thinking about something and suddenly become overwhelmed by all that I'm not but should be doing. I think, I should stop ever visiting Facebook while at work. I shouldn't watch so much TV but should spend my evenings being productive at home, doing work for the committees I'm on, or doing stuff around the apartment. I'm always doing well, and I recognize that part, but I'm always thinking about what else I can do.
Again, this isn't a bad thing, but as much as I'm hard-wired to aim for more, I think I'm also hard-wired to do more. I don't think it's something I need to dedicate so much thought or worry to. I think I'll continue to go where I want to go and be who I want to be without worrying, so why worry?!
~~
I met with a friend recently: Kasia. Kasia and I have known each other for maybe six years now, but we've never quite clicked. We have had some really fun times together with our mutual friends, but one-to-one there's been something blocking us. When we met recently, there was no blockage. She's a very powerful and wise woman, that Kasia. We sat and suddenly everything was spilling out of me including my need to aim for and achieve more forever and always. That's when she said, why not make this your new mantra:
I am enough.
It's so simple, and could've easily been disregarded, but in the week and a half or so since I saw Kasia, it has been there like a second pulse. I'll start to get myself in a tizzy about doing more and I'll hear the phrase or even say it out loud. During my daily lunches with my work bestie, I'll find myself talking about all that I should be doing, and then I'll catch myself. No.
I am enough.
~~
I had a few big break-throughs at work in the past few weeks; I finished a big program plan, and made some significant progress in the way I'm approaching my work, and I feel a big part of that is due to my new mantra. Once you accept that you're enough, you realize you really do have everything you need. It's not about losing the drive, it's about accepting that it's already there, and there's no need to worry. I'm excited to see the doors it opens for me.
