Validation

Last weekend I was in my bedroom folding laundry that was hot out of the dryer.  I picked up a pair of fuzzy, purple socks that belong to my girlfriend K, who I live with.  I went out into the main room where she was sitting on the couch on her computer.  I saw that she wasn't wearing socks, so I went over to her and, seeing the socks, she stuck out her feet and I put the socks on her feet.  As she realized that they were still warm, her face completely lit up and she was so excited.  I'm not kidding, she looked like a kid on Christmas day.

It filled my heart with joy.  I'm so lucky to live with and love a woman who finds joy in and doesn't take for granted the simple things in life.  Socks right out of the dryer are only one example; when I make her tea, bring home a random treat, make dinner, etc., etc., she always reacts like it's the most special thing, and so I feel that it's special, too... and that I'm special.

Or, the other morning, I came in to wake her up and her eyes opened and she immediately smiled at me with this incredibly loving smile.

I saw something on one of Oprah's shows once... I can't remember who was talking; it might've been Toni Morrison.  Anyway, the show was about validation, I think.  Whoever it was that was talking said that she made a special effort to always have her face light up when her kids walked into the room.  Rather than briefly look up from whatever she was doing, or - worse! - not look at all, she would look at them, and smile!  Oprah spoke about how amazing these children were and how much of an effect this special gesture made.

That's how I feel about K; that she regularly validates me, makes me feel loved and special.

It's simple, but maybe that's what makes it so great.  Simple or not, it has a significant effect, and I feel grateful to experience that.