Port Hope & small town living

Almost two years ago now, when deciding between a job offer and the potential of another, I made a list of pros and cons.  The biggest con?  Moving to Port Hope, Ontario.

Now this con had many associated cons: loneliness, isolation, nothing to do, no friends, etc.  However, the job itself had countless pros.  I sought advice from my parents, friends, and colleagues - past & present.  Finally one night - while drinking a glass of wine and eating olives and brie (I thought acting sophisticated might assist me in a grown-up decision) - I decided I would do it.  I would take the great job and move to Port Hope.

So, as of now I have lived in "PH" for 21 months, with 3 remaining until I make the move to what PH locals call "The Big Smoke" (Toronto).  The cons I considered in my decision process turned out to be true, especially in my first 6-12 months living there.  I was desperately lonely.  I was bored, I felt isolated, and while I was actually 23 at the time, I felt I must be 50+ because why else would I be in Port Hope?  (I'm being intentionally facetious, by the way).

My days were the same... wake up, walk to work, work, walk home, make dinner, eat, watch TV, go to bed, rinse, repeat.  The exciting days were when I needed to go to Metro for groceries or Shoppers for toiletries.  I only went anywhere I could walk to.

By the way, I'm not trying to make anyone feel sorry for me.  In fact, I'm sort of chuckling to myself thinking about how down I was back then...

On weekends, I would hop on the VIA after work and head to TO for a taste of the good life - friends, family, and things to do!  That's how I lived, day in and day out, and I still do, really, except for one important difference.

Within the first 6 months of living in PH I realized something significant - I wanted to drive.  I felt especially isolated because all I could rely on were my own two feet and the something-to-be-desired Port Hope VIA schedule.  In the winter I began to feel completely pathetic.  Why did I not know how to drive?  (If you want to know the answer and the detailed story, click here).  Every day I'd walk to work and stare at all the moving cars longingly.  Eventually I'd had enough; in early 2011 I started driving lessons and by the end of June I had my G2 and a car (HUBBLE!).

THAT is what I am most grateful to Port Hope for.  Seriously.  If I stayed in Waterloo or moved to Toronto in 2010, I can't tell you when I would've gotten my license.  PH made me feel an urgency to get it.  Once I got it and bought Hubble I could pick up and leave whenever I wanted.  I could drive to Cobourg for... whatever!  I could buy more groceries than I could carry.  It felt great!  It still does, and therefore I am grateful to PH.  It also made living alone in Port Hope more tolerable.  It really made a difference.

Also, something else that made PH tolerable, which happened early on was this: not being in school.  I remember one day after work, when my last online course was wrapped up, I came home, sat on the couch, and turned on the TV.  A few minutes later I realized that I hadn't been thinking.  It was as if my mind was floating above my body.  I was truly relaxing.  When I was in school, I wasn't the hardest working student in the class, but even still - school was always on my mind: the next project, the late essay, the upcoming exam... it was totally constant and unrelenting, so the feeling of leaving the office at 5:00 and being truly "done for the day"?  That was priceless.

That brings me to another thing - cable.  Oh my God, cable, you delicious luxury.  I had cable 3/5 of my years in Waterloo, but I didn't watch it a tonne, really.  However, with nothing to do and a job to pay for it with, I thought - might as well.  I've watched more TV in the past 21 months than maybe my whole life.  My favourite channel?  Probably OWN (the Oprah Winfrey Network).  I watch "Hoarders" on A&E, "Lifeclass" on OWN, and "Til Debt Do Us Part" on Slice.  I watch it all, and I love it.  I am grateful for cable.

There's also the alone time.  I often joke that I've gotten enough alone time while living in PH to last the rest of my life.  It's as if I've stock-piled it and now I'm all set.  It's been great though: quiet mornings with coffee and a book, reading before bed, cooking up a storm and having all the leftovers I could want, and of course, watching enough TV to rot my brain.  It surprises some people to know it, but I am an introvert through and through (MBTI = INFJ), and so the alone time has been very welcome.  In fact, I've loved it!  I'll always need alone time, but I'm okay with cutting down a bit...

Before I moved to PH, or maybe it was in those early days of living there, I considered (and discussed with family and friends) the benefits of living in PH.  Specifically, the financial benefits of living there while having my first real job.  For example, the costs of living are low: rent is low, gas is cheaper than TO, and most importantly, there's nothing to do and therefore nothing to spend money on.  My bank statements for weekdays alternate between Metro and Shoppers.  Exciting?  No.  Beneficial?  Yes.  More than low expenses though, it's been great to "become a grown-up", so to speak, in such a low-pressure environment.  I actually read my bills and speak to bank tellers, I've developed an understanding of my personal finances and have learned to be responsible.  It's been great and necessary to start me on my way.

That said, my desire for excitement has revealed that I'm willing to pay a premium for city living.

Which brings me to my last point... the greatest thing I've learned while living in Port Hope is that I'm not cut out for small town living.  It's like taking a course in uni and knowing you shouldn't major in the subject.  You could say the course was a waste of time or you could say that you learned something valuable... about what you don't want.  That's (just as) important.  That's how I feel about Port Hope.  I learned something valuable.  I learned that I need people and diversity, options and bustle, excitement and many restaurants.  I need them bright lights, long nights...

So there that is.  I've still got 3 months to go, so this may be premature, but i wanted the chance to reflect on my valuable experience in PH and to simultaneously get excited about my upcoming move and entering perhaps the next chapter of my life.

Posts to come -- how Oprah made me "get" Lady Gaga.