Cottages & Nephews (or 1 cottage and 1 nephew)

I can't even tell you how many times I've tried to write a new blog post and yet again I've got a bit of writer's block.  Maybe it's because so much has happened and it's hard to get it all down / articulate my feelings about all the wonderful things that are and have been happening.  However, I'm keen to update, so I'm going to start with two items and save more for posts later on.  So without further ado.....

(1) My 6 days in Muskoka

I only get so many vacation days each year so I usually save them up for a big trip I’m planning.  Next Spring I’m hoping to go to Finland (!!!), for example.  So when my parents rented a cottage in Muskoka this summer, I originally planned on just a weekend there… maybe one extra weekday thrown in to make it a long weekend… but one thing led to another and I ended up taking 3 vacation days and stayed at the cottage from Fri Jul 26 to Wed Jul 31.  I’m so glad I did.

Wellesley the cottage dog

View from the deck

It takes time to relax, and then once you do you need to enjoy it, and then you also need time to ramp yourself back up to feel ready (and maybe even excited) to go back to work and routine.  Going through all those motions is too hard in a weekend; doubling my time made it that much easier.

My favourite meal of the trip; UNBELIEVABLE ribs

One of the things I love about a cottage holiday is that you aren’t expected to do anything!  Unlike a vacation in Europe – where I’d feel guilty if I wasn’t out and about taking it all in – cottages are meant for pure relaxation.

So what did I do?  I relaxed.  I slept (9 hours every night), I sunned (with many, many sunscreen applications), I swam (just a dip in the lake almost every day), I read (finished Jane Hamilton’s The Book of Ruth and started Peter Sims’ Little Bets), I played cards, I chatted with my family, and I ate!  I ate chicken, sausages, ribs (my favourite of all the meats), and more chicken!  You may know I cook exclusively vegetarian at home, so it was pretty wild eating that much meat.  It was a holiday though and that totally added to the experience.

So, clearly, my 6 days at the cottage were divine.

(2) My new nephew

While I was at the cottage the hot topic was my sister as she was due to have a baby “any day now” at that point.  She lives two hours north of where we were in Muskoka, so I felt like at any point we’d get the call and spring to action, driving to Sudbury where she is.  It was all we could talk about and we were so excited for the baby’s arrival.

Unfortunately the baby didn’t arrive during my stay in Muskoka, but he arrived shortly after, just after midnight on Friday, August 2nd.  He and my sister were happy and healthy, and our family was all thrilled!  YAY!

I left on the morning of Saturday, August 3rd from Toronto to Sudbury to visit my sister and my new nephew, Teoman a.k.a. Teo (pronounced TAYO).  I spent about 24 hours with them plus my brother-in-law and his parents, and it was absolutely incredible.  In some ways it was surreal, seeing my younger sister with her baby!!!  In all ways she seemed totally natural, and seeing her with a baby seemed absolutely normal and right.  I always imagined that seeing my sisters become mothers would transform them instantly, and in the case of Ali – my sister – it was an instant transformation, but it wasn’t a jarring one.  She seemed exactly who she is, but then a mother also.  It’s hard to articulate, but it was beautiful to see.  We were talking to each other like nothing had changed, but everything had, but it was normal and beautiful.  I don’t know how else to put it!

I love my nephew!  He’s perfect, adorable, mellow (funny to say, but true), and generally amazing.  I got to hold him a lot and I was just totally taken away.  My mom says nothing helps you stay in the present moment like a baby, and I totally understand that now.

It was a wonderful experience; to see my sister and her new family, to hold a baby on his second day in the world, to help her out and be there for her… all of it!  I love Teo!!!

Currently reading... Little Bets by Peter Sims

Posts to come... my 48 hours in Montreal

My trip to Newfoundland

I recently spent 10 days (June 7-16) in the only province I hadn't yet been (through/) to: Newfoundland!  I haven't visited Labrador, but I gather neither has most of Newfoundland, so I feel okay about that.  (To be clear, I haven't been to any of the territories, and I haven't spent great amounts of time in Manitoba or Saskatchewan, but I've stayed a night in Brandon, Manitoba, and I've driven through Saskatchewan).

But I digress.....

As per usual, I feel it's most useful to break this post up into 10 categories, rather than share every detailed moment.  It won't be short, but hopefully it's still a good read!

Without further ado.....

My trip to Newfoundand


#1: The Conference
This was why I was in St. John's in the first place.  A professional organization I belong to holds an annual national conference and I applied to present at it this year.  My proposal was approved in January, and so began hours of work over the course of many months in order to prepare my 90-minute presentation.

It was one of the most academic things I've done in recent memory.  I convocated from my undergrad nearly 3 years ago, and I can't remember working so diligently on something indirectly related to my job since then.  It was a great thing to sink my teeth into, I prepared extensively, and on Friday June 7, off I went to St. John's, Newfoundland.

Bags are packed and ready to go.

Our first view of "The Rock" from the plane.

The conference began on June 8 and it was excellent!  The concurrent/professional development sessions they offered were so-so, but the keynote speakers were phenomenal; not always relevant to my work, per se, but fascinating and inspiring.  One of the coolest things about the speakers was the ease with which they moved from English to French.  The professional org. is bilingual, and I felt the speakers were so wonderful and graceful about accommodating for this.  As always, it made me wish I could speak French.  Maybe one day...

My presentation was on the final day, Monday June 10.  It could not have gone better!  The room was full, people were engaged and asked meaningful questions, I felt really good about my "performance", if you will, and the feedback I've received since has been very positive.  I'm really proud, and it was a great experience, personally and professionally.


#2: Rally in the Alley
Another great part of the conference was how well-organized it was.  This fact culminated on the final night (June 10) with the "Rally in the Alley".

There were a few social events on the other two evenings of the conference, which I attended, but I didn't go all out being that my presentation was on the last day.  On top of that, an old colleague of mine - T. - was at the conference and we spent a lot of time 1-on-1 together, which I preferred anyway.  Imagine that!  (For the record, I still made lots of great connections with people.)

Anyway, the last night I had the freedom to go all out, and I'm glad I saved it until then.  The Rally in the Alley was basically a concentrated St. John's experience.  The delegates at the conference were split into 3 groups with associated colours (mine was red!), and with a different musician leading each group (snare drum, bagpipes, and ours - bass drum).

Some of the "Rally in the Alley" musicians.

All of us were first led to Club One where we were treated to fish and chips (a.k.a. "fi' n' chi'") and live music.  I gather Club One doesn't usually serve food, but it was rented out for this purpose.

Next we went off with our groups to one of three locations.  Our group started at a pub - can't remember what it was called - where we watched three young women do traditional Irish line dancing.  They were great!

Next we followed the bass drum to a place called Rob Roy to get screeched in.  From my understanding there are only two places to get screeched in in St. John's, and I don't think Rob Roy is usually one of them, but again, for our group some special arrangements were made.

Anyway, for those who don't know, getting screeched in makes you an honorary Newfoundlander.  To do so, you have to repeat a phrase ("Indeed I is, me old cock, and long may your big jib draw!"), kiss a frozen cod, and then take a shot of screech (sort of a rum-like liquor).  I was determined to do this during my trip, and it was a hoot!

Me kissing the cod!

After getting screeched in, it was on to the last destination: another pub I don't remember the name of where we got to sing traditional Newfoundland songs.  I think that was my favourite of the three.  I love Newfoundland/east coast/Irish music, and it was a blast!

From there it was back to Club One where the tables were out of the way, a band was on stage, and the dancing began.  What a great night!


#3: Sightseeing in St. John's
I spent 5 full days and 4 half-days in St. John's, 3 full days of which were the conference.  Not a tonne of time and there's so much to see, but I made a concerted effort to see as much as I could, and I think I did pretty well.  For the record, it's beautiful!

On my first full-day there, Saturday June 8, I went to the St. John's farmers' market with my girlfriend K., our friend Lauren who I stayed with for part of my trip, and K's fabulous new friend, Erin.  The farmers' market was delightful and charming; it was basically a crowded portable, full of food, artisans, and other vendors.  We browsed, and then I got some delicious food, which I enjoyed with K. and friends outside in the sunshine, with a drum circle playing nearby.  A fantastic start to the trip!

Inside the "portable".

That same evening was the opening reception for the conference, held at The Rooms, a museum in St. John's I had heard so much about.  The exhibits were open, though I wasn't able to check all of them out, but I did take the view in, which was excellent!  It's definitely worth checking out; a gorgeous view of downtown, the harbour, and St. John's in general.

View of St. John's harbour from The Rooms.

On Tuesday June 11, my first day in St. John's after the conference was over, I was lucky enough to have my buddy T. with me for the day, and we set out to see the two things you really can't miss when in St. John's.

We struck a deal via the Delta Hotel with a cab driver who would drive us to Cape Spear, wait for 20 minutes while we looked around and took photos, and then drive us to the top of Signal Hill; all for a reasonable cost, we were assured by the staff at the Delta.

So off we went with Rick to Cape Spear, learning history along the way.  Cape Spear is the eastern most point in all of North America, which I think is really cool.  The weather wasn't bad, and we were dressed appropriately, so we enjoyed ourselves, taking photos and spending some time absorbing the fact of where we were in the world.

Me at North America's most eastern point.

From there, Rick drove us to the top of Signal Hill.  We climbed up Cabot Tower, learning about Marconi (who sent the first transatlantic wireless signal from Cabot Tower), and then taking in the fantastic view of the city.  It was really nice climbing back down the hill, too; a good (downhill!) walk with great views, and finishing with Mile Zero, where Canadian hero Terry Fox began his run across Canada.  That was quite touching actually, and amazing to think he dipped his foot in the water right there.

Cabot Tower.

View of St. John's from Signal Hill.

Terry Fox Memorial.

The last St. John's sightseeing highlight was on my last full day in the city - Saturday June 15 - when I went on a fantastic 90-minute walk with my friend Josh, Lauren's husband.  Josh and Lauren have been living in St. John's for a few years now, and they own a beautiful house on Garrison Hill.  Josh knows so much about the city and its history and I really loved seeing the beautiful houses outside of the downtown area, and learning about how they came to be designed as they were, etc.

Here's something I haven't yet mentioned about St. J's assuming you don't know this already: it's got some hills (understatement of the year).  If you're spending time downtown, you're gonna have to climb a hill to get home.  If you're staying with friends on Garrison Hill, that's a pretty intense hill to climb at least once daily.  And if you go on a walk with Josh, you may just turn red in the face while climbing some intense stairs followed by some intense hills.

Honestly though, it was amazing.  Beautiful sights, amazing insights and history from Josh, and a lovely time spent with him!


#4: Food!!!
More sightseeing and cultural experiences - and my favourite part of travel - happened by eating the food of St. John's and Newfoundland.

The first place I grabbed a bite was at Rocket Bakery & Fresh Food, which T. had seen on "You Gotta Eat Here" and K. had already been frequenting herself.  I ended up going there three times throughout the trip.  It's an excellent spot for coffee, a bite (I recommend the sausage roll), or some yummy baked goods.

Rocket Bakery.

On July 11 before we hit up Cape Spear and Signal Hill, T. and I had breakfast at the Bagel Cafe.  A perfect and delicious way to start the day.  I had the Cape Spear touton, which is a traditional Newfoundland dish, and is basically a deep-fried pancake.  The Cape Spear touton came topped with a fish cake and a fried egg.  Yum!

Toutons: mine is the one on the bottom, the Cape Spear.

The same day, after our journey down Signal Hill, we ended up at the Duke of Duckworth for a late lunch.  We had tried to eat at the D of D on our first night, but learned the tough lesson that restaurants and pubs don't serve food very late in St. J's.  As one of my new friends from the conference put it: "If you're in a pub past 8 o'clock in St. John's and you're not drinking, you have no business being there.  On my first night in town this realization resulted in a bout of hanger, a.k.a. anger as a result of being hungry.

But we got our second shot at the Duke of Duckworth on June 11, which I was glad for because I was told they had the best fish and chips (a.k.a. fi' n' chi') in town.  I felt I could probably tell since I'd already had fi' n' chi' twice at that point, and the Duke of Duckworth's fish and chips were by far the best I had in St. J's... and maybe ever (though nothing beats Penrose).  In Newfoundland, you can have your fi' n' chi' with d' n' g', a.k.a. dressing and gravy.  Delicious, and I highly recommend it.

St. John's best fi' n' chi'.

I should also mention Quidi Vidi beer, made in the Quidi Vidi brewery in St. J's.  I tried three of their brews but my favourite was Iceberg, made from the water of 25,000 year old icebergs.  Seriously.  It's excellent: cold, crisp, and refreshing.  Great for those who enjoy beers like Corona or Mill Street Organic; light and smooth.

That day was full of yummy food.  We capped it off with a big treat to ourselves of dinner at Bacalao; fancy, expensive, and totally worth it.  It's nouvelle Newfoundland food, with great service and atmosphere.  I had two glasses of wine, an outrageously delicious seafood chowder (huge chunks of mussels, scallops, and more!), moose bolognese, and a little cookie sampler for dessert with coffee.  It was decadent, rich, indulgent, and worth every penny.  Thank you to our server Tracy for making it extra special.

**This meal was too special to take photos.

On one of my days away I went to the Bonavista Social Club in Upper Amherst Cove, about 40 minutes away from Port Rexton (more on that shortly).  It had come very highly recommended by a lot of people, so I made the special trip to visit.  It was charming; in the middle of nowhere, with a fenced in area for their goats right outside the restaurant.  It also had a great view of the water!  They had a wood-burning oven and it was so cozy and lovely inside.  I had a pizza, preceded by an incredible parsnip soup.  Yum!  Well worth the trip!

If you look closely you can see goats in a fenced-in area.

On my last full day (June 15) I ate with K. at The Sprout, St. J's vegan/vegetarian restaurant.  I had the pad Thai and it was pretty darn good.  Definitely good value.

Aside from Rocket's delicious coffee, I also visited two other awesome cafes: Fixed and Post.  I spent a couple hours at Fixed in the morning before my 48-hour solo trip, and the coffee and service was delicious.  I visited Post twice and they have the most excellent espresso.  It's owned by a guy in his early twenties and is so cute and simplistic and - for lack of a better word - hipstery.  I loved it!

Coffee and a bagel with cream cheese and jam at Fixed.

My final favourite meal was on the morning of my last day - Sunday June 16.  K. and I got up early and walked to the nearby Sobey's to get some things for brunch.  We ran into our friends (Erin & Naomi) who were joining us for brunch, so we shopped together, grabbed some coffees to go at Post, and then went back to Garrison Hill to cook.  I made eggs, K. made guacamole, and Naomi made the most outstanding maple bacon.  It was a glorious sunny day out, so the four of us plus Josh and Lauren dined out on their front porch.  It was the perfect final meal for my trip.


#5: Fishers' Loft Inn
The Fishers' Loft Inn in Port Rexton was recommended to me by a few people, but especially my parents who had stayed there when they visited Newfoundland.  Also, they didn't recommend it to me personally, but I know for a fact that Dame Judi Dench and Kevin Spacey stayed there when they were filming The Shipping News.  If it's good enough for Dame Judi, it's good enough for me.

My plan was to spend 48 hours away from St. J's on a little solo trip, and the first night of that was spent at the Fishers' Loft Inn.  I rented a little car in St. John's and took off midday on June 12.  It was a 3-hour drive and very enjoyable.  I arrived at the Inn around 3:30 pm.  It was a beautiful day out, but I was tired from driving and excited for rest, so I decided to lay low and enjoy the Inn.

Along the drive to Port Rexton - blue skies and open road.

The view from my room at the Fishers' Loft Inn.

I was so happy when the first thing that happened was I got upgraded.  I don't know what my original room would've been like - lovely, I'm sure - but my new room was spacious with a stunning view.  The first thing I did was take a long bath while I read.  (I was reading The perks of being a wallflower at that point... I finished two books during this trip).  After my bath I climbed under the covers and napped for an hour.  Heaven!  Then I woke up, showered, got ready, and then went over to the building with the dining room in it and bought a bottle of wine to go with dinner.  But, I had a glass poured before so that I could drink it while sitting on a rocking chair on the porch, reading and staring at the ocean.

The quaint porch at the Fishers' Loft.

View from the porch.

Then dinner.  I chose to include dinner at the Inn with this category instead of with "Food", but this meal tied with Bacalao for the best meals of the trip.  It was a $55 set menu (not including wine), and I was lucky enough to be there for my favourite meal - and likely the best value one - LOBSTER!!!  There was soup to start, then salad, then scrumptious steamed lobster with melted butter, then cheesecake and coffee to finish.  I finished a book during the meal and moved on to another (The Great Gatsby), and just totally treated myself... yet again.

The next day I got up earlyish, and then had a simple breakfast at the Inn, and then packed up and checked out in order to go to the...


#6: Skerwink Trail
This is what brings many people to Port Rexton, and was another big recommendations from my parents and friends.  The Skerwink Trail is a moderate to difficult 5.3 km hike along the coast on high cliffs in many places.  Full of a good breakfast and energized from a great sleep, I was so ready for it.

I hit the trail at about 9:20 am and took my sweet time with it, finishing in about 2 hours.  I might say it was the best part of the whole trip.  The views were spectacular; I took tonnes of photos and soaked it all in myself, too.  I only once saw other people on the trail, and they were way behind me.  The whole time it was majorly quiet; just me, my breath, and my footsteps.  I loved it.

#7: Outside St. John's
So I already mentioned the Fishers' Loft Inn in Port Rexton, and the Bonavista Social Club in Upper Amherst Cove, but I did some other travelling outside St. John's.

After lunch at the Bonavista Social Club, I drove from Upper Amherst Cove to Placentia - a 3-hour drive.  My drive from St. John's to Port Rexton had been novel and exciting; the weather was incredible and I was amped up about it all.  My drive to Placentia, on the other hand, was rainy almost the whole way, and I was tired after a long hike, and just anxious to get there.  Driving is not always that much fun... especially alone.

But I got to Placentia around 4:30 and arrived at the Rosedale Manor, a relatively last-minute decision as I hadn't always planned to stay away two nights.  It was no Fishers' Loft, but it was full of charm.  When I arrived, no one was there, but there was a note to call the owner when I arrived, which I did, and she checked me in over the phone; telling me where to find my room and keys and what all the amenities were.  Very relaxed and a seemingly Newfoundland-esque approach.

I hadn't planned on going out to eat because I'd brought my leftover pizza with me from the Bonavista Social Club, but after a bath (third one!) and some downtime, I felt stir crazy and needed some fresh air and to see a bit of Placentia.  So I walked down the road to the Three Sisters Pub (hilarious! Their website has music!) for a drink and snack.  The service was subpar, but the atmosphere was authentic, and I enjoyed a cold glass of Iceberg there.  I also gave cod tongues a try; they were fine on principle, but despite only trying them for the first time, I don't think Three Sisters prepared them all that well.  Then it was back to the Manor for bed.

After a good night's sleep, I had breakfast at the charming Philip's Cafe; Philip is the husband of Linda, the owner of the Rosedale Manor, and they serve breakfast to guests out of his restaurant.  It was simple, fresh, and clearly homemade.  I was able to check out of the Manor there, too.

And then I was on my way to the...

Cape St. Mary's Ecological Reserve.  Yet again, this was highly recommended by friends, so I drove the 45 minutes or so from Placentia to Cape St. Mary's to see the birds.  The Ecological Reserve is home to literally thousands of birds, the likes of which you've never seen.  The most obvious - and the ones at the top of the hierarchy - were the Northern Gannets, and they were perched on Bird Rock, flying through the air, and making tonnes of noise.  I was totally transfixed; it was so hard to leave.  It was pretty spectacular!

To be clear, those white specks on the rocks and in the sky are BIRDS!!!  Thousands!

Same with those!  That's called Bird Rock and is covered with birds.

I headed straight back to St. John's after my visit in Cape St. Mary's, and the next morning - my last full day (Saturday June 15) - I went on a whale and bird-watching boat tour with O'Briens.  This was the one item on my itinerary that I hemmed and hawed about, but the prospect of seeing a whale made me go, and I did see a whale so it was worth it.  But, it was the one let-down of my trip.  For what I paid, it just didn't seem to have much value; we did see whales and puffins, but... it just wasn't all that much fun.  I have to blame that mostly on my queasiness on the boat, as well as the obnoxious fellow passengers, and the fact that it was my last day and I would've rather been with K.  BUT I don't regret doing it, and as I said, seeing a whale was pretty darn cool.


#8: Josh & Lauren's
In my blog post about my trip to France, I regret that I didn't dedicate enough attention to the hospitality of my host in Paris: Karen.  When I look back on the trip, that's one of the things I reflect on most: how at home Karen made me feel, how she never made me feel like I was putting her out, how much I enjoyed her company, and how she inspires to be as gracious and as hospitable a host whenever I get the chance to have someone in my home.

In St. John's, I had much the same experience.  As you can tell by now, I stayed with two friends named Josh and Lauren.  I had the pleasure of attending Josh & Lauren's wedding, and the two of them are just so warm and loving and giving, it's palpable.  Staying with them in their home in St. John's was yet another example of that.  They made me feel totally at home, had a fire going and tea brewing when I first arrived, made me feel comfortable, and most importantly, shared their space with K. and I, for which I will always be grateful.  They also cooked for me one night - moose stew, which was incredibly delicious!  And, they were great to spend time with and get to know better.  It was a really wonderful experience.  

Thank you, Josh & Lauren!!!


#9: Kate
Aside from travelling in order to attend the conference, I was also incredibly lucky because my time in Newfoundland was about in the middle of my girlfriend K's 6 weeks there for an opera program.  So, without a doubt, reuniting with her and any time spent with her were highlights of the trip.  We vegged out together, went to restaurants and cafes together, laughed and caught up... it was so nice to be with her.

Thanks to K., I also got to see an opera that her program was putting on: La Traviata.  I'd heard of this opera but knew nothing about it or its story.  It was wonderful!  The production was fantastic, the leads were amazing singers, and the story was so intense and sad.  I love opera, and need to learn more about it.  Thankfully I have the best teacher in K.


#10: Home is where the heart is
And that leads us back to where it always does: home.  My journey home wasn't exactly smooth, but the moment you walk back into your home - especially if you have a cat greeting you there - is always wonderful.  I always say that the best trips are the ones where when they're over, you suddenly feel so ready for home.  I was!  I missed my routine and my bed and my coffee and my cat!!!  But, I have the greatest memories of Newfoundland, and that's what travel is all about.

Do you beliebe?

I'm going to be frank with y'all: I'm a belieber... or at least, I have been.  Now?  I don't know what to beliebe.

We all knew about Justin Bieber when he came onto the scene.  An overnight sensation like no one before him, you couldn't help but know his name and at least be able to hum one of his songs.  Whether you liked him or not, you'd heard of him.

Brilliantly managed and marketed, he experienced a frighteningly fast climb to success.  In the face of it all, he seemed to manage it well himself.  You might not want to call him an artist, but he sure could perform.  Beyond that, he has a certain charm, too... charisma, even, and not just in the "tween" sense.  Have you ever seen him on "Chelsea Lately"?  Check out the video below.  He's not very articulate, per se, but he holds his own, and is funny (and even, dare I say it, smart!) in his own way.



So what did I think of him when he was first thrust upon us?  Not much, really... I was indifferent... I mean, although there is something unique about his rise to success (YouTube discovery, overnight sensation, etc.), it's just the same old story in a new context, isn't it?  I wasn't a hater, I wasn't a fan, I was just aware... and maybe curious... and maybe a teeny bit proud that for once an enormous star was Canadian?  Or maybe more angry at the fact that Justin was calling himself the first interesting thing to come out of Stratford.

I became a belieber though when I watched "Never Say Never", the documentary film movie about Justin's rise to fame and his "Never Say Never" tour in which he first performs in the legendary Madison Square Garden.  There's something almost hypnotizing about that movie.  I can't even remember what it was that made me watch it in the first place.  Again, I wasn't a huge fan, and none of my friends had seen it.  Regardless, I watched it one night and was totally mesmerized.  There is something so captivating about him and his story, and in the movie he is portrayed as very serious, sincere, caring, and hard-working.  He definitely is talented, too, but he's also so... earnest.  Yes, that is the word!  He seems to be so earnest, and there is something so endearing about him.

That brings me to now.

I'm not sure if you keep up with the Justin Bieber news, but he's been acting a fool lately.  There's been issues with his friend caught speeding in his car, photos surfacing of him smoking marijuana, getting kicked out of a London bar on his birthday, passing out on stage at his own concert, starting a concert two hours late, walking around shirtless, swearing at paparazzi..... Bieber is not 13 anymore.

So he's 19, and the old smile for the camera paired with a flick of the hair doesn't really work for him now.  That's fine.  Performers have to evolve with their age and with time.  Look at Justin Timberlake (I certainly enjoy looking at him); he started as a curly-haired, frosted-tipped boy bander, and now he's all dapper in a suit and tie singing us brilliant R&B.

But this isn't about a performer evolving, it's about an individual experiencing some growing pains, and the thing that I struggle with is: can we just chalk this up to a 19 year-old acting his age?  Does he have to be held to different standards because he's a massive celebrity?  Does any of it matter?  19 year-olds all over the world are doing this and much worse (minus what the money and fame afford him), but his discretions are displayed for all the world to see.  What does it all mean?

The funny thing is, I don't really care about his music.  Some of it is pretty catchy, but just because I call myself a belieber, you won't be finding me buying his albums and certainly not attending his concerts.  What I liked about him, as I said, was his earnestness... his charisma and hard-working nature.  I'm just not seeing that anymore.

However, as a belieber, I will hold out some hope.  I'd like to see Justin Bieber elevate to the levels of Justin Timberlake one day... maybe it'll never happen, but...

NEVER SAY NEVER.