Sum.

I have plans of making Eggs Benedict for myself for the first time tonight. It's a favourite in breakfast spots, but I've never made it at home before and I want to try. But before I go off to the kitchen to do that...

I had an amazing weekend ripping it in Toronto with my newest best buddy; let's call her K.E.S.P. Today is the final day before I head back to work after a glorious holiday, so it was a delight to spend the weekend having fun with a friend and indulging in a number of pleasures. I got back to Waterloo around 1:30 ish and immediately cuddled with my kitty Spoon (I didn't take off my jacket or boots for at least 5 minutes... Spoonie deserved the attention). Then I felt like I needed a nap, so I climbed in bed and tried to sleep, but I couldn't. I tried to turn something on to watch that I'd hopefully fall asleep to, but it didn't happen. So, I figured I'd just lounge in bed, snuggling with Spoon, and watch something I actually want to watch. That's what brings me to the reason I wanted to post right now...

I Am.

K.E.S.P. watched this documentary recently and highly recommended it, so I was happy to take the time to watch it. It was fantastic!!! I won't bother summarizing it for you, I suggest you watch it yourself. There were so many amazing takeaways, but here's the fact that resonated most with me.

We are all connected. Everything we do has an impact.

I tend to get overwhelmed watching documentaries with big ideas like this one had. I get so wrapped up in the good ideas and want so desperately to implement them in my own life, but being overwhelmed, I often end up implementing nothing at all. So I'm going to take a "small" part of this idea and work to consider it as regularly as possible.

Consider the energy I'm putting out into the universe. 

I know the feeling of walking into a room and feeling an existing tension that you may not have the context for, but you can actually feel. My cat Spoon knows that feeling, too. When my GF K. and I have a big talk (also known as a fight) and we're sitting next to each other on the bed, crying, maybe speaking in loud voices, feeling intense emotions, etc., Spoon jumps up and sits in between us (an example of another message in the movie: that all living things are the same).

The energy that I put out there matters. Big changes happen because of individuals' consciousness spreading enough to translate into critical mass and action. But even if big change isn't my goal, everything I do has an impact, great or small. Do I put enough thought into what I do? Do I consider the impact of my words, actions, and even thoughts and emotions? I think I could stand to be more conscious of those things. And it's not about being hard on myself, or critical, or changing everything I do and everything I am. Increased consciousness is small but mighty, and I'm conscious that I could be more conscious.

Now... onto Eggs Benedict!

Eight Words

DON’T WORRY. JUST BE. LET GO. MOVE FORWARD. 

I can't believe I haven't posted in two months. Life has been crazy, but even still, I usually make time to blog. Looking back though, not only has it been busy, but it's also been somewhat tumultuous emotionally. At the risk of sounding dramatic, I've been having a crisis of spirit, and as of late things have been coming to a head. 

But I'm feeling the shift. I'm feeling the ship slowly but surely changing course. In that spirit, I sat down tonight and wrote a very brief blurb on what I've been feeling and - even more importantly - where I feel I should be going now. I noticed some patterns in what I was writing and as a result of that, I decided to paste the blurb onto a website and create a word cloud with what I'd written. A little over ten words stood out in the cloud (meaning they'd appeared in my blurb a number of times), and then after stringing those words together, I condensed it a little further into eight words. 

DON'T WORRY. JUST BE. LET GO. MOVE FORWARD. 

I have a habit of over-analyzing; it's all good. It's who I am and it's gotten me so far. However, it can become too much. I feel the need to analyze my life and my self, make some conclusions, document it, and then - and only then - move forward. This personal process is ironic given some things that have been frustrating me lately, so I just needed to take some time to sit down and feel it a little bit. I don't want to analyze, speculate, make a certain decision about it all, and then boldly go forward. No!

I just want to live. I don't want to worry. I just want to be. I want to let go of the things I cannot change. I want to keep going. 

That's it. 

Curve Ball

Here are two of my favourite things about life:

1. It can throw you a curve ball.
2. You can completely surprise yourself.

Sometimes these things happen at the same time and the results are wonderful! Has this ever happened to you? Something crazy happens... crazy in that it impacts your life somewhat seriously, shifts your life in a different direction, changes your view of the future, etc.... and you expect one reaction of yourself but get another. You wake up every morning expecting to feel a certain way, but still, you feel another.

It's a bizarre feeling! In the past, this situation would've completely rocked you; your life would've totally gone to crap for a period of time... at least that what your history of situations like this tells you. Aren't precedents supposed to mean something?

But a lot can happen over time, combined with certain factors that are different this time around, and - especially - combined with a ME that is different. When all of those things fall into place at the right time, even a significant life change can't shake you, and suddenly when you expect yourself to break down, you actually get stronger... life gets better... things change for the best!

It doesn't mean you didn't care about what happened, it just means you were ready for it, and now there's lots to be excited about!!!