Sum.

I have plans of making Eggs Benedict for myself for the first time tonight. It's a favourite in breakfast spots, but I've never made it at home before and I want to try. But before I go off to the kitchen to do that...

I had an amazing weekend ripping it in Toronto with my newest best buddy; let's call her K.E.S.P. Today is the final day before I head back to work after a glorious holiday, so it was a delight to spend the weekend having fun with a friend and indulging in a number of pleasures. I got back to Waterloo around 1:30 ish and immediately cuddled with my kitty Spoon (I didn't take off my jacket or boots for at least 5 minutes... Spoonie deserved the attention). Then I felt like I needed a nap, so I climbed in bed and tried to sleep, but I couldn't. I tried to turn something on to watch that I'd hopefully fall asleep to, but it didn't happen. So, I figured I'd just lounge in bed, snuggling with Spoon, and watch something I actually want to watch. That's what brings me to the reason I wanted to post right now...

I Am.

K.E.S.P. watched this documentary recently and highly recommended it, so I was happy to take the time to watch it. It was fantastic!!! I won't bother summarizing it for you, I suggest you watch it yourself. There were so many amazing takeaways, but here's the fact that resonated most with me.

We are all connected. Everything we do has an impact.

I tend to get overwhelmed watching documentaries with big ideas like this one had. I get so wrapped up in the good ideas and want so desperately to implement them in my own life, but being overwhelmed, I often end up implementing nothing at all. So I'm going to take a "small" part of this idea and work to consider it as regularly as possible.

Consider the energy I'm putting out into the universe. 

I know the feeling of walking into a room and feeling an existing tension that you may not have the context for, but you can actually feel. My cat Spoon knows that feeling, too. When my GF K. and I have a big talk (also known as a fight) and we're sitting next to each other on the bed, crying, maybe speaking in loud voices, feeling intense emotions, etc., Spoon jumps up and sits in between us (an example of another message in the movie: that all living things are the same).

The energy that I put out there matters. Big changes happen because of individuals' consciousness spreading enough to translate into critical mass and action. But even if big change isn't my goal, everything I do has an impact, great or small. Do I put enough thought into what I do? Do I consider the impact of my words, actions, and even thoughts and emotions? I think I could stand to be more conscious of those things. And it's not about being hard on myself, or critical, or changing everything I do and everything I am. Increased consciousness is small but mighty, and I'm conscious that I could be more conscious.

Now... onto Eggs Benedict!

Two of Hearts: 3 Movies I Watched this Weekend

It is Monday after the long Easter weekend and I am very slowly adjusting back to a life where I must wake up, do things, wear clothing without elastic waistlines, and be generally presentable.  Normally I'm okay with this, but today I'm not.  It was a delightful weekend!  Highlights include time spent with great friends including karaoke, a beautiful trip to Mel's Diner, time spent on the couch, time spent with more friends, GREEK EASTER!!!, and some epic movie viewing.  I could go on about all elements, but I think I'll focus on one - epic movie viewing.

Having read that Michael Alig is going to be released from prison on May 5, I was reminded that I've always wanted to watch Party Monster.  My friend W. was visiting for a few nights and I asked him if he'd seen it (assuming he had) - he hadn't!  W. was the perfect viewing partner for this movie.  Even better, it was on Netflix.  Bam.  W. whipped up some hummus and we hunkered down for a viewing.  It was a very interesting movie.  I thought Macaulay Culkin and Seth Green both did great jobs in their respective parts, without knowing too too much about Michael Alig and James St. James.  The movie was creepy, funny, enlightening, fascinating, dark, and sad.  I'm now fascinated by club kid culture and keen to read more.  One particularly intense moment was when James St. James was down and out and Michael Alig puts on a cassette to cheer him up.  What's the song?  Stacey Q's "Two of Hearts".  What was one of the two songs my friends and I sang at karaoke the evening before?  Two of Hearts.  Serendipitous, no?

Anyway, Saturday afternoon I was chilling by myself and decided to watch one of the recommended films for people interested in "Party Monster".  One of them was a documentary called "Limelight" about Peter Gatien, legendary club owner who owned the Limelight in New York City where Michael Alig was a promoter.  I learned more about the club kid culture, the introduction of ecstasy to NYC, Peter Gatien (from Cornwall, Ontario), and the massive lawsuit that targetted Gatien as responsible for the rampant drug use and selling in his clubs.  This film was equally fascinating.

Finally, I watched something quite different but not totally unrelated: "Philadelphia". I've watched this movie a handful of times before, but it never loses its impact.  Tom Hanks is incredible, as is Denzel Washington, and the story is so moving and sad.  I still teared up during the epic opera soliloquy.  Incredible!

So there you have it, darlings!  A weekend of movies & more!  Until next time!

Catfish & Resolutions

I watched another new movie!  I'm so proud of myself for keeping my New Year's resolution as best  as I can. Tonight I watched "Catfish", a documentary I've passed by on Canadian Netflix a number of times and that I've always been curious about. My friends M. & D. that I'm staying with in Waterloo at the moment recommended I watch it with them tonight (they'd already seen it), and so we did.

It was captivating. You had this eerie feeling at the beginning but you just had no idea how things were going to turn out. It was surprising and disturbing and depressing and interesting and everything in between. It commented on small town USA, Facebook, art... the list goes on.

I highly recommend it.

Happy St. P's & 2 films to see

Happy St. Patrick's Day, readers!  I hope you're out celebrating your Irish heritage or at least pretending to be Irish for the day.  Whether it's enjoying a green beer, fryin' up some spuds, or wearing a ridiculous shirt that says, "Kiss me, I'm Irish!", I appreciate your support of my heritage today.

Personally I celebrated today by finishing Frank McCourt's memoir, Angela's Ashes.  10 weeks into 2012 and 3 books down.  Only 17 more to go! ...Anyway, on to the point of this post...

As I mentioned in my last post, I recently saw two films that I think are really important:

1. Almost a year ago I saw that a documentary called "Miss Representation" was playing on the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN).  I was at my parents' house at the time so I PVRed it and then forgot about it.  Recently I was flipping through their PVRed shows and saw it there.  I was relaxing with my Saturday morning coffee, so I thought, why not?!  I spent the next two hours watching a documentary that really shook me.  In the simplest terms, the film is about the negative portrayal of women in the media and how that leads to a shortage of women in the government and other high-powered positions in the corporate world.
   
   A barometer for my world is my Facebook news feed.  I was an active volunteer in university in the LGBTQ community and as a result crossed paths with queer activists, feminists, and the like.  Now, my news feed is in large part made up of videos, articles, and personal statements about issues of homophobia, sexism, misogyny, etc.
   
   I am wholeheartedly against these things.  However, when they are the bulk of what I see on Facebook, I have become very desensitized and find myself with compassion fatigue.  So, I stop thinking about the problems and how they impact me and those around me.  When I sat down and watched "Miss Representation", it was like a smack in the face -- these are real issues!  There is a real problem!  I watched esteemed women like Condoleezza Rice, Lisa Ling, Rachel Maddow, and Gloria Steinem talk about this real issue, and I felt overcome with an urge to weep for women everywhere.  I know this sounds dramatic, but it felt dramatic!  I felt like I had totally forgotten that these are real problems affecting me and every female in my life and the world.  It was a wake-up call.  It was a very powerful & important film, and I strongly recommend it.
   
2. The day after I watched "Miss Representation", I went over to my sister's place for a delicious brunch and another engaging film.  She and I watched "We Were Here".  This doc is about the AIDS crisis in San Francisco in the 80s.  It really outlines the spread of the virus, both physically and also the social spread of information; from the early days hearing about the "gay cancer" to learning about potential meds to help those with AIDS.  The story of it all was told by artists prominent in the area at the time, individuals who had partners die of AIDS, and nurses who helped comfort patients in hospitals during their final days.  It was well-made, well-told, and emotional.  Another one I highly recommend.

Exit Through the Gift Shop

Whoa!  I need to write while it's fresh on my mind.

I just watched "Exit Through the Gift Shop".  It's about Banksy...
But no, that's not really true... it's really about street art...
...no, no... that's not entirely true either.  It's about both of those things + Thierry Guetta a.k.a. MBW a.k.a. Mister Brainwash.

Such is the conundrum of "Exit Through the Gift Shop".  Who is it even about?  How did it all go down?  And how does everybody involved feel about it now?  Needless to say, it's very meta.

It was one of the best movies I've ever seen in many ways.  It really made me think and it was not at all what I expected.  I was craving a documentary, went with a suggestion from my sister, and it DELIVERED!!!  Thank you, sista, and thank you, Banksy.

Please see this film.

Now onto my next doc - "Hoop Dreams".

Rough Aunties

I've been wanting to blog about this film since I saw it, but I needed to let it sink in for a bit longer before I could sit down and write. Even now I'm hesitant to talk about it because I'm not sure I can do my feelings justice or articulate just how incredible an experience it was to watch it.

Note: I consider myself no movie critic or reviewer, so this is just me articulating my thoughts and feelings on a film I saw. Take it for what it's worth.

"Rough Aunties" is a documentary about an organization called Operation Bobbi Bear, which was founded by Jackie Branfield in the early 90s in South Africa. The organization is made up of many hard-working staff and volunteers, but the movie focuses on 5 women in particular, who are called the Rough Aunties. The organization exists to rescue and uphold the rights of sexually abused children, minimize their risk of HIV infection, and help them towards wholeness.

The documentary doesn't involve interviews nor narration, but simply observes these women as they work, whether it's a group raiding the home of an abused child, a woman and child one-on-one talking about the child's experience of sexual abuse, or the Rough Aunties together discussing their passion for what they do, and also their frustration with what they see and how hard it is to deal with some of the things they are witness to. This laissez-faire documentary approach really allows the women to speak for themselves.

What stood out for me was the strength of the Rough Aunties. All of them were very serious about their work and, from what I saw, absolutely incredible at what they do. Some of the things the viewer sees/hears are devastating; who wants to hear about a sweet, innocent child being abused - verbally, sexually, emotionally, physically??? However, these selfless women sit with the children, help them express their stories, and work to take (some of) their pain away, then having to release some of that pain themselves. Just watching the film was hard for me, so the thought of dealing with that on a daily basis is just beyond my imagination... I wish I was that strong, and I'm just so in awe of these women who are helping these children. It's absolutely inspiring!

Another thing that stood out for me was the approach of the Rough Aunties in their one-on-one's with children. Each Auntie was different, of course, but what they all did was have physical contact with the children... they hugged them, held them close... Not to get really heavy here, but I feel like in North America there's such a reluctance to be in physical contact with other people in therapy/social work, etc. I don't know much about it all, but for whatever reason it's deemed inappropriate or harmful. In the film it seemed that the children didn't want to let the Aunties go; that hugging them gave the children all the strength and joy in the world; that they felt cared for and safe and comfortable. I thought that was so beautiful, and I really respected that approach.

Lastly was the way the Aunties themselves handled the situations. They took in all this horrible information from the kids; hearing their horrifying stories and learning the details of their abuse. You could tell they were just emotionally spent after one-on-one's, but they didn't compartmentalize their emotions. Of course they have to keep their emotions in check to some degree, but their passion fuelled their ability to help, so they didn't hesitate from showing anger or sadness about the many cases of abuse. Of course, they didn't show that to the children, in order not to upset them, but among one another they shared their stories in a therapeutic catharsis; acknowledging their feelings about it, sharing them with one another, relating, and then, I suppose, perhaps letting a little of it go. They also laughed with one another, cried with one another, and created amongst one another a community of shared passion and experience, continuing to strengthen their abilities to achieve their organization's mission.

So those are my thoughts, for what they're worth. Please watch the film as I think it's an important one to see and really well done!

REALNESS.

Paris Is Burning...

I've known of this film for a long time. My best friends quote it and have taken on some of the lingo from it. I've seen it, but never all at once and never the whole thing. I'm on a bit of a documentary kick right now and I've had it on my comp for a while, so I finally sat down and watched the whole thing.

It was so good.

The individuals profiled in it are all so beautiful and wise and... real. The documentarian does a perfect job of capturing a very specific sub-culture, and by the end of the film you really feel you understand what the balls were and why people got involved in them. I mean, as much as you can understand without having participated yourself. It's really interesting, and a lot of the themes within are still very relevant. I would say that some of those themes are the American dream, luxury, the impact of models and celebrities... At the end of the day though, these are (or were) real people, with real lives and real dreams, and the only differences between us are where we live and how we spend our free time.

More Fashion

I guess fashion is my interest as of late. Or, I dunno, fashion has often been an interest in the back of my mind. Like I said in my last entry, I don't know a tonne about it, but I'm fascinated by it at the same time. Any way to express yourself, be creative and artistic... I love that!

Right now I'm watching "The September Issue" for the second time, and they were showing old pictures of Grace Coddington, who is now the Creative Director for U.S. Vogue, and was once a model for Vogue. Her model shots are absolutely beautiful.

On another note, Anna Wintour is captivating.