Christmas!

I love Christmas!  My family celebrates Christmas, so that's the holiday season I love, but Happy Holidays, Kwanzaa, Chanukah, Solstice, etc. to you!

I love Christmas for so many reasons.  I like that it's cold outside and warm indoors - by a fire, in a sweater, in a chair, under a blanket, reading a book, drinking a warm mug of cider..... those are the images that come to mind.  I like that it's an occasion for many family get togethers.  Cousins you never see all gather in one place with aunts, uncles, and grandparents (if you're lucky!), catching up, eating delicious food, and spreading the good cheer.  I like giving presents!  I don't like the commercial side of Christmas for the most part, but I do like giving and receiving presents.  I like putting thought into it, wrapping it, writing cards.  I like bringing new things back to my apartment and thinking of the person who gave it to me every time I see it.  I like the food!  I like a meal where gravy can go on every item on the plate.  I like turkey and wine and all sorts of vegetables in their mashed/pureed form.  I like pies and Christmas baking! 

I like an opportunity that smacks me in the face and reminds me: you are so unbelievably fortunate.  It sounds cheesy, but I do have that moment at Christmastime.  How couldn't I?  Warmth, family, presents, food?  So many things that I am blessed, lucky, and fortunate to have, and that are not had by all.

That's why I was thrilled when my girlfriend suggested she and I find some opportunities to volunteer over the holidays.  Not only is it something special we can spend time doing together, but it's something we can do to show we are thankful for how blessed we are.  You can't control where you end up on the fortunate scale, but you can control how aware you are of your blessings.

Happy Holidays!!!

Broth Talk

I wanna preface this post by saying that I in no way think of myself as some expert chef. However, I cook a lot, I love to cook, I'm getting pretty good at it, and I make a point of learning how to cook better. Some of my learning happens by reading recipes online, cookbooks, and finding tips on how to cook certain things (better). Some of my learning happens by watching the Food Network, or watching friends as they cook, trying to pick up tips in that way. However, my best learning happens through my own practice; good ol' trial and error.

My latest and favourite discovery involves oil. I love cooking with oil, and of course it's a crucial element to a great number of meals. However, the more vegetables (or whatever) you cook, sometimes the more oil you need. And that is an issue! For example, lately (probably once a week) I've been making my interpretation of Chinese food; a sort of improvised vegetarian chow mein dish. I don't know how authentic it is, but it's tasty and seems like Chinese food to me! At the very least it's Chinese-inspired. Anyway, I cook the vegetables in steps, and often have to add more oil with each addition. Then come the noodles which I boil, drain, mix in soy sauce and sesame oil, and then fry in oil for a few minutes. OIL, OIL, OIL!!! The dish ends up well-cooked and delicious, but very oily. Not good.

So yesterday evening as I cooked this dish I was determined to eliminate the oiliness factor. What did I need? Another cooking liquid. What did I use? Vegetable broth.  It keeps the wok moist and gives the vegetables the liquid they need, but doesn't oil them up and absorbs really quickly. It really seemed to solve my problem, and I'm using it in other dishes, too.

Now the question is, is it legit? For those of you out there who cook, is this effective in the real cooking world?


Currently reading... Quiet by Susan Cain
Posts to come... long overdue salute to John Lennon, my overview of all contestants on "RuPaul's Drag Race" to date, and a Christmas post

Validation

Last weekend I was in my bedroom folding laundry that was hot out of the dryer.  I picked up a pair of fuzzy, purple socks that belong to my girlfriend K, who I live with.  I went out into the main room where she was sitting on the couch on her computer.  I saw that she wasn't wearing socks, so I went over to her and, seeing the socks, she stuck out her feet and I put the socks on her feet.  As she realized that they were still warm, her face completely lit up and she was so excited.  I'm not kidding, she looked like a kid on Christmas day.

It filled my heart with joy.  I'm so lucky to live with and love a woman who finds joy in and doesn't take for granted the simple things in life.  Socks right out of the dryer are only one example; when I make her tea, bring home a random treat, make dinner, etc., etc., she always reacts like it's the most special thing, and so I feel that it's special, too... and that I'm special.

Or, the other morning, I came in to wake her up and her eyes opened and she immediately smiled at me with this incredibly loving smile.

I saw something on one of Oprah's shows once... I can't remember who was talking; it might've been Toni Morrison.  Anyway, the show was about validation, I think.  Whoever it was that was talking said that she made a special effort to always have her face light up when her kids walked into the room.  Rather than briefly look up from whatever she was doing, or - worse! - not look at all, she would look at them, and smile!  Oprah spoke about how amazing these children were and how much of an effect this special gesture made.

That's how I feel about K; that she regularly validates me, makes me feel loved and special.

It's simple, but maybe that's what makes it so great.  Simple or not, it has a significant effect, and I feel grateful to experience that.

rc-4 update

Reading Challenge #4 continues...

Just this morning I finished re-reading Lennon Revealed by Larry Kane. It's a biography of John Lennon, written by long-time friend Larry Kane, a journalist who was assigned to travel with The Beatles on their two North American tours in 1964 and 1965. It's a great, honest biography of John Lennon, which all the good ones seem to be. That's how John would've wanted it.

Stay tuned for a dedication piece to John in December, on the 32nd anniversary of his death.

I'm struggling with what to read next. I think I'm going to try to dive into Susan Cain's book, Quiet, but we shall see!


What I've read so far...

1. What the Dog Saw by Malcolm Gladwell
2. When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris
3. Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt
4. Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris
5. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
6. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
7. If You Have to Cry, Go Outside by Kelly Cutrone
8. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
9. Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom **re-read
10. She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb **re-read
11. In One Person by John Irving
12. Lennon Revealed by Larry Kane **re-read

Fully there in that place

Wow... never underestimate the power of music. 

I'm working alongside my GF today so I have my earphones in while listening to music. I unsuccessfully downloaded Feist's album, "Metals", and so when that failed I started listening to Fever Ray (working my way through my music library alphabetically, apparently). For the record I'm listening to Fever Ray's self-titled album... I don't know if that's their only one. 

The moment I pressed play (the first song that played was "Dry and Dusty"), I was taken back to where I most obsessively listened to that album; where I first listened to it and where I enjoyed it most. I swear I could smell the cold air. It was winter of 09/10. I used to smoke back then, I'm afraid (I quit though!), and I can smell the mix of the cold air and my cigarettes. I remember the coat I would wear. I remember where I was at in my life. I remember the apartment I would return to after a smoking session. I remember what it felt like in that apartment... what my life was like.  I remember the books I would read, the layout of my apartment, the movies I was obsessed with... where I spent most of my time... 

I know it wasn't that long ago, but what I'm trying to say is that the moment the first few notes of this song started to play: I WAS THERE. Fully there, in those moments, in that life, in that place. 

I also remember the other album I listened to, basically in tandem with "Fever Ray": "XX" by The XX. I just started listening to that right now, too, and it's the same feeling. They're similar albums, really, and that's where I was at: calm, introspective, quiet, cold, relaxed, focused... It was a good time. And it's good music. 

Currently reading... Lennon Revealed by Larry Kane 
On deck... High Fidelity by Nicholas Hornby, Quiet by Susan Cain

Bookshelves: a peephole into your mind

When I go to someone's place of residence for the first time - or really any time - I am drawn to their bookshelves.  Whether they hold books or DVDs or - in rare cases - CDs, I love to scan them.  I love seeing what people read, watch, and/or listen to.  I love commenting on shared favourite authors or TV shows.  It's a conversation-starter, a peephole into their mind, and even better - an opportunity to borrow some good books and movies.

You won't be surprised to know that I take a lot of pride in my own bookshelves.  I have been know to organize DVDs alphabetically, group authors together, and sort books according to subject matter.  After reading Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale, I read a review on the back that said the book could easily fit between 1984 and A Brave New World on your bookshelf... so that's exactly where I put it.  I love when people inspect my bookshelves; whether they're passing judgment or looking for shared interests, I bare it all for them.


It's because of this that when I think about the printed word or the tangible media source (DVD, CD, etc.) becoming obsolete, it's scary to me.  It's not that I'm a dinosaur and don't get it, or want to slow things down; it's that I think about the joy I get from seeing and touching someone's books and movies and I hate the thought of not having that.  I feel like I know people better when I see their shelves.  I feel like it brings colour and culture into a room, never mind being aethestically pleasing a lot of the time.

Then there's also that feeling of a book in your hand.  Will they one day call a story with so much excitement you can't wait for the next part a... page-swiper?!  I love the smell of books, seeing what I might've underlined the last time I read a favourite, and the drama in closing a book when you've finished it and just clutching it for a few moments.  It's meaningful.

All I'll get a chance to see is the evolution of books and DVDs, etc. in my own lifetime.  I wonder what I'll see.....

RuPaul's Drag Race: Start Your Engines

I'm kind of shocked that I've only referred to "RuPaul's Drag Race" once so far on this blog.  Then again, I suppose it's a somewhat recent obsession.  My best friends J & W have been into it for a while and I tuned in to an episode with them here and there, but it was season four where I really caught my RPDR stride.

You can click the link to the wiki page above to learn about the show, so I won't waste your time with that.  I'd like to discuss this show beyond the details...

What is it about RPDR that appeals to me so much???

The campiness.  I realize that I love camp.  There, I said it.  And I ain't talkin' 'bout summer camp (though I loved it, too), I'm talkin' about what dictionary.com defines as "something that provides sophisticated, knowing amusement, as by virtue of its being artlessly manner-consciously artificial and extravagant, or teasingly ingenuous and sentimental".  It may seem over-the-top to some, but that's what I love about it.  Extravagance, hyperbole, silly, cheesy to the point of almost hating it, but then loving it anyway.

Let me tell you, RPDR is dripping with camp.  I mean, it's a drag queen competition after all, but it's so campy you find yourself giggling against your own will.

The humour.  Campiness is humour on its own, but the drag queens' individual senses of humour are pristine.  Whether it's poking fun of each other, which it usually is (and by the way, it's not called "poking fun", it's called "reading" or "throwing shade"), commenting on pop culture, or just being themselves, I'm laughing for the better part of the show.  And they're full of brilliant slang and one-liners: "sickening", "the shade of it all!", "loca", "halleloo", "werrrkkk", "eat it", the list goes on.

RuPaul.  It's unfair that RuPaul be stuck in the middle of these reasons, but they're not in any particular order, really.  RuPaul Charles is perfection.  In and out of drag she is funny, witty, stunning, fashionable, sweet, cute, honest, real, silly, and everything in between.  She is a true queen.  Her own classic lines on the show are amazing, too: "Hello hello hello!", "Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best woman... win!", "If you can't love yourself, how in the heellll are you gonna love somebody else?  Can I get an amen up in here?"  I love RuPaul.

The homage it pays to "Paris is Burning".  You already know that I've been deeply moved by the documentary "Paris is Burning", and I love how much respect is paid to this film and the culture it documents on RPDR.  Occasionally episodes have ball-like competitions, categories ("Executive Realness"), vogue-offs, etc., but more than that there are subtle PiB lines regularly inserted into the show... "Cheesecake", "overgrown orangutangs" (misspelled on purpose), "touch this, touch all of this", "you own everything, everything is yours", etc.  Ru is cleary committed to honouring the queens who came before (and not just those from PiB but also queens like Marsha P. Johnson) and it shows, and I love spotting the references.

The anthropological side of it.  I realized that it's not just the humour, the entertainment, the competition, Ru and the queens, etc., or rather those things become even more interesting by way of looking at the show anthropologically.  I'm a gay woman.  I'm part of the gay community so in that way I feel that gay men's worlds intersect with mine, but drag culture is a whole other chestnut.  I don't feel totally separate from it, per se, but I clearly am not and could not be a true part of it, as much as other drag queens or other gay men can be.  I don't consider this a bad or sad thing, nor does it make me feel excluded.  However, it does make the experience of looking in at this world very fascinating. 

And that brings me to...
The gender play.  I spent some time in university thinking a lot about gender and the performance of gender and the illusion of it, but I haven't dedicated much thought to it since.  However, RPDR brings those thoughts back to the forefront of my mind.  I mentioned to my friend W. that sometimes the queens do things or say things that seem more feminine than anything I could ever do or say.  That led to an engaging conversation between the two of us about what femininity is, and how real or important it could possibly be based on the fact that some make-up and a dress on a biological male makes me perceive him as more feminine than me.  Very interesting...

The joy.  When I talk to people about the show, the word that always comes to mind is "joy".  I feel joyful when I watch RuPaul's Drag Race.  It's about fun and wittiness, camp and performance, music and fashion, queerness, creativity, comraderie, and more!  The queens are fun and good-spirited (most of the them/most of the time), and it's a happy show!  That's really what I love about RPDR.

Give it a try!  Let me know what you think!!


Posts to come... the disappearance of the physical book and what it means in terms of first impressions.
Currently reading... Lennon Revealed by Larry Kane & High Fidelity by Nicholas Hornby